The responsibilities of today's groom have definitely changed. This is particularly true when it comes to who pays for the wedding. Traditionally, the groom would paid only for his tuxedo, the wedding rings, the officiant and, often, his bride’s bouquet. His other expenses included groomsmen’s gifts, corsages for his mother and hers, and the honeymoon. Meanwhile, his family paid for the rehearsal dinner, while the bride’s family carried the rest of the financial burden.
But the average cost of today's wedding has soared, with some estimates placing the cost of the “average” wedding at $20,000 or more. It just isn’t always practical to follow tradition. This has led to a sea change in attitudes among engaged couples.
More couples pay for all their wedding expenses or expect smaller contributions from their families. And when families do help, a greater burden tends to fall on the groom’s. In some cases, the groom’s family handles not only the traditional rehearsal dinner expenses, it covers the cost of specific wedding services. These often include music at the reception, liquor costs at the reception, wedding party vehicles or photography and videography.
For most grooms, it’s no longer an option to just show up to the church ready to wed. Although it’s still typical for brides to oversee wedding plans, more and more men dig into their wallets, handle a range of wedding-related responsibilities and make important decisions.
After all, it only makes sense to have both of you involved in decisions like:
- How much can be spent on the event and by whom
- Where the ceremony and reception will occur
- The size and division of the guest list
- The degree of formality for both the ceremony and reception
- The number of attendants each of you will have, and who you will ask
- Which stores and specific items should be part of your gift registry
- Where your honeymoon will occur and for how long
These, of course, are just a few of the areas where your groom’s involvement could be helpful. To encourage him, tailor his involvement to match his interests. For example, if he’s interested in cars, have him handle transportation arrangements. But remember, he still has two important responsibilities at your wedding ceremony:
- He should work closely with to the best man and attendants to keep things moving smoothly, including assuring that guests are properly seated, the wedding rings are there and everyone understands the schedule of events and roles.
- He should recognize that, despite the many distractions, he’s there to marry you. The day is yours, and mental and emotional preparation is key to its success.
Whatever expanded role your groom plays in planning and holding your wedding, it will be memorable. And yet another reason to love him.