Jung Lee, event planner and author of Fete: The Wedding Experience, shares her knowledge of all things extravagant, gushes on the art of being gracious hosts and spills the secret to planning a memorable affair at a fraction of the cost.
Perfect Wedding Guide: You’ve planned hundreds of events for many of NYCs elite. What’s the first step to your wedding planning process when you meet with a couple?
Jung Lee: "Whether it’s a New York couple or a couple in another city, each is very unique. It’s a fresh start. There isn’t this formulaic thing I go through with them. It’s just an open dialogue we have. I want to know about their passions, their interests and their life. All of this helps me to figure out what we should do for the wedding."
Perfect Wedding Guide: Tell us about your new book,
Fete: The Wedding Experience (Stewart, Tabori and Chang). Was it a goal to share your work in published form?
Jung Lee: "No, not at all. It certainly wasn’t one of the goals I had in life, but of course I’m thrilled about it. The book features nine different couples and talks about who they are, their weddings, what we did and why we did it that way. It’s very personal. Obviously I can’t plan everybody’s wedding, but if someone can get really good information from reading it that may be hard to find elsewhere, that makes me happy."
Perfect Wedding Guide: One of the chapters in the book focuses on couples embracing their heritage in the wedding and reception. Share with us some ideas for that.
Jung Lee: "Weddings and the act of getting married are one of the oldest traditions we have as human beings of all sorts of cultures. Especially here in America; it’s like a rite of passage. I see that there are a lot of couples of different cultures getting married, and if you bring a little bit from each culture or each faith it makes it that much more personalized and special. There was one wedding where neither the bride or groom were Jewish, but they heard about the huppa—a dance that shows your closest friends and family that your door is always opened to them—and they loved that notion. To me that’s a modern day couple who is so open to things and may say, 'You know, that isn’t our religion, but that really speaks to us and we’d love to have this at our wedding.'"
Perfect Wedding Guide: Today's bride is all about being different and unique in every aspect—from the dress to the cake to the venue. What are some original concepts that you've implemented in your planning?
Jung Lee: "For many of our clients we’re taking the ceremony and really customizing it. It’s not just about having a priest, a rabbi, a minister or whatever sort of officiant. Sometimes, I’ll have an opera singer perform a cappella as the bride comes down the aisle. We’re doing lots of choirs; children's choirs, gospel choirs . . . having music that really speaks to our brides and grooms. For so long people just wanted to gloss over the ceremony aspect and just get to the reception. But I’m like, 'What a minute, hold your horses. If it wasn’t for the ceremony, you wouldn’t be having a reception!'
As for receptions, we’re doing a lot of fantastic dinner parties. Sometimes it’s two or three courses and then we move into a different phase and location for the dessert and dancing. A lot of our parties are going into the wee hours of the night and the morning. Come 3 a.m. or 4 a.m. we’re passing around little breakfast treats. There are a lot of little surprises along the way that we incorporate that our guests and couples really enjoy."
Perfect Wedding Guide: Timing is an important element in event planning. How do you stay on schedule with one of your big, elaborate weddings without disrupting the flow?
Jung Lee: "It’s all about the preparation. If you’ve timed everything well, there shouldn’t be a break in the flow at all. The best flow of a wedding is totally organic. I’ve never been a fan of someone coming in and saying, 'OK everyone, we’re going to the dinner.' It just feels a bit childish. The way that you move people is through the music, the food and the lighting. Those are the best components to me."
Perfect Wedding Guide: Where do you find inspiration?
Jung Lee: "I’m crazy about all-things fashion. I love furniture design and interiors. I love going to Europe; Paris is one of my favorite cities that I visit twice a year and go to the big markets. I draw inspiration from everything and everywhere, and I draw a big component of my inspiration from my clients, for sure."
Perfect Wedding Guide: What are some clever ideas for cost-conscious couples?
Jung Lee: "I’ve got so many things to say about this! For one, try to get the best vendor for the best price. I would rather go with the higher quality vendor and get a little bit less from them than go with a vendor who is less expensive and get more. At the end of the day the higher quality vendor is going to have higher standards. So even if you have they’re offering [for your budget] six passed hors d'oeuvres, whereas the other vendor is offering you ten, you're not going to get middle of the market from them because of their standards.
I would go further with candles than with any flowers, and I would keep the bar simple. It doesn’t have to be all premium alcohol. Maybe you just have wine; a good sparkling wine is OK. Also, if you have a DJ that can take you from ceremony to cocktails to dinner to a dance party, that’s fantastic. I’ve done million dollar weddings (where budget wasn’t an issue) where they chose a DJ over a band because that’s the kind of music they wanted. That’s a huge component in terms of savings.
Lastly, truly invite the people that you love and care about; you don’t have to invite the whole world. I would have a closer-knit wedding and spend more per person than have more people and spend less on them."
Perfect Wedding Guide: What is the one piece of advice that you share with all of your clients?
Jung Lee: "It's not about the money. I’ve been a part of major, extravagant weddings, where as a guests, I’ve seen that there was very little love between the couple and the family. You have to have that love, that energy, that fuzzy feeling . . . you’re marrying the love of your life! You’ve got all these fantastic people in your life together for the first time, enjoying your celebration. So recognize that. It’s not about the cake or the flowers or the decorations. Those are all secondary items.
Also, be gracious hosts. Think about your guests’ convenience. There are things you can do that won’t cost you a single penny. For example, whatever space you’re in—whether it’s a ballroom, tent, loft studio—if it’s either too cold or too hot, that's not good. But, those are things that can be controlled. Pretend you are a guest walking through your wedding and think about their experience: how are they feeling, who was greeting them, who was taking care of them, what does the bathroom look like? Those are nice little things that cost little to nothing at all, but make all the difference in the world. And as a bride and groom you should walk around, speak to your guests and tell them how appreciative you are. That is priceless."
For more on Jung Lee, visit feteny.com.