Wedding Blog

I’ve been writing for months about the importance of budgeting and reasonable spending while planning your wedding. Although I love the extravagant, over-the-top wedding, it just isn’t possible for everyone; nor is it necessary to have a joyous celebration.

We predicted that 2008 would be the year of the do-it-yourself bride, and it certainly was. Some brides choose to do things themselves because they want to be a more active participant in the wedding-planning process, others do it to save money. Whichever category you fit, I am dedicating the final two weeks of the year to you; the DIY Bride.

There are positive and negative aspects to doing things for yourself on your wedding day. Much of the outcome depends on how you handle stress, how organized you are and how reliable your friends and family are when it comes to executing your plans.

I remember several years ago, one of my brides “hired” her close friend to do the wedding cake. She put in writing everything that she wanted for the cake; the flavor, the design, the date of delivery; she even invited the friend to attend. Two weeks prior to the wedding I called the friend to confirm all the details and all was fine. The wedding day rolled around and all the vendors were scurrying around to setup. The time for the cake delivery came, and no cake. We still had plenty of time so I waited a half hour. Still no cake. I tried calling the friend, there was no answer. The friend finally called the bride about an hour prior to the ceremony to tell her that her son had been sick and she forgot about the wedding. She didn’t make the cake and she wouldn’t be attending the wedding.

Wow! That was an unpleasant surprise. My team ran to a local grocery store to pickup a last minute cake. Obviously it wasn’t exactly like the cake the couple had wanted, but at least there was a cake. The bride was devastated. It changed her relationship with her friend as well.

Does every DIY situation turn out like this? Of course not. Is there a risk? Absolutely. Anytime you are dealing with a situation that is as important and as stressful as a wedding day, you run the risk of ending or changing friendships. If the bride hired a professional pastry chef, that situation would most likely not have happened, but if it had, the bride would have screamed and yelled, gotten her money back and have been done with it. Since it was her good-friend who left her hanging on her wedding day, she lost a long-standing friendship.

This is just one of the things to consider when relying on family and friends to provide services for your wedding. Tomorrow, I will post a quiz to see what kind of a Do It Yourself Bride you are. Do you have the fortitude to do everything yourself, from hiring vendors, to making invitations and favors, or are you more of a part-time DIY who wants to add some personal touches while still having professional guidance along the way?

Over the next two weeks you will see interviews with some of my favorite wedding vendors with recommendations on doing things for your wedding yourself versus using a professional. I will also include money saving tips for you if you decide to work with a professional.

For those of you who are celebrating… Happy Hanukkah!