By Wedding Blog Contributor Kim Francis, experienced Mother of the Bride (and Groom) and author of Kimâ€™s Korner on The MOB Blog.
What makes a southern wedding unique or different from our northern friends? Of course there are stereotypes for both of these weddings but behind all of the labeling there are some truths that lie behind many of them. Is it geographic differences that make both of our weddings different & unique or is it the differences in family traditions that separate us?
From much of the material I was able to gather on this subject, it seems that most people feel that a southern wedding focuses more on traditions & family whereas a northern wedding seems to focus more on making sure that the wedding day is filled with fun. That is not to say that northern weddings do not incorporate family & traditions or that southerners do not have fun at their weddings.
One difference you might experience in a southern wedding is the location where the ceremony takes place. Many southern weddings are held in a church or an old historic home or mansion, often in the hometown of the bride or groom. Everyone seems to know everyone & the pastor is usually someone who is close to the family. The flowers are often fresh cut & many times arranged in elaborate vases. It is not unusual for the bride to spend over half of her wedding budget on her floral & church decorations. Churches with old fashioned pews, stained glass windows, and wood ceilings soaring high with ornate chandeliers are often venues of choice. Not only are they picturesque but they also offer a certain charm & appeal for the southern bride.
A subtle difference in southern weddings is that couples appear to be marrying younger in the south than couples who are marrying in the north. Brideâ€™s Magazine reports that the average age for a female to marry is 27 & that of the groom is 29 years of age. Most couples marrying in the south appear to be younger than the norm. The common age for a southern bride falls between 21 & 23 years of age & the average age for the groom is around 24. This seems to show that where you live plays a big role in whatâ€™s â€œaverageâ€ among your circle of friends.
Another difference you might experience when attending a southern wedding versus a northern wedding is the type of food served at the reception. Many southern weddings will offer â€œcomfortâ€ food to their guests such as BBQ pork, fried chicken, baked beans, macaroni & cheese & even mashed potatoes served with all the fixinsâ€™. Many times the food is served buffet or family style. It is not uncommon to have friends & family whip up good ole southern dishes to serve along with a glass of sweet ice tea. Southern weddings held in the summer may opt for serving homemade pecan or peach pies over a more formal wedding cake. Most estimates for a southern wedding reception will cost $15-$50 per person depending on the type of food you serve. This price includes any food items, non-alcoholic beverages & of course the desserts. The cost to cater a wedding in a southern town differs dramatically than what it would cost in a northern city.
It is also common to see a grooms cake served alongside the actual wedding cake at southern weddings. This is a wedding tradition that is typically associated with people in the south and is intended to be a gift from the bride to her groom. The groomâ€™s cake can take on a variety of forms & usually incorporates chocolate or fruit in the cake. The groomâ€™s cake may be served on a separate table at the reception or used as a dessert at the rehearsal dinner. A current trend with the groomâ€™s cake is to have it reflect the grooms interests & hobbies, therefore giving the groom special recognition on a day that is mostly centered on the bride. Legend has it that if an unmarried woman sleeps with a slice of groomâ€™s cake under her pillow, she will dream of her future husband. I canâ€™t say that I have seen anyone in the south doing that yet!
Be sure to check back next week for pt. II of this Southern vs. Northern wedding traditions post!