Wedding Planning Blog

This past weekend I had a wedding in Savannah, Georgia. It was at the Mansion on Forsyth Park. It is a gorgeous property with a beautiful outdoor courtyard where couples love to tie the knot.

Outdoor weddings are very popular, particularly here in the South. The drawback is the weather. You cannot possibly predict exactly what the weather is going to be like. There are some months that are better than others in every city, but strange things happen.

Friday was beautiful… a little warm and humid, but that isn’t unusual for Savannah. Saturday morning was beautiful and a bit cooler (that was a definite warning). Saturday afternoon, was completely over cast with predictions of rain and tornado watches. UGH! This is the least favorite part of my job; making the rain call.

The rain call is easy when it is actually raining. But overcast skies are a nightmare for wedding planners and ceremony sites. We never want to disappoint the bride, but we have to protect the guests as well. Over the past sixteen years and the hundreds of outdoor weddings I have done, I have been put in a few bad spots.

One year we had a wedding at a resort in Orlando. The skies were gray, the radar predicted all kinds of storms, so finally the bride agreed to move the wedding inside. Guess what? It didn’t rain - not one drop! One of the groomsmen actually came up to my staff to ask if we could hose down the courtyard with water so the bride would think that it had actually rained. They were afraid of how she would react to the bone-dry ceremony site. Well, we didn’t soak the courtyard. The bride was disappointed, but she kept it in perspective. She took photos in the courtyard and all was well.

Another time, my bride insisted that the wedding take place outside, in spite of the fact that it had been raining all day. It stopped for a while and the sun came out (which, if you know anything about Florida, you would know that the sun turned all that rain on the ground into a steam bath), and she insisted we stay outside. The guests were not happy. It was unbearably hot, and we were surrounded on all sides by storm clouds. The bride made it down the aisle to the alter and the sky opened up. It rained like someone was dousing the ceremony site with buckets of water. Guests were running, and decorations were blowing away. It was terrible.

It was from that time on that I started preparing my brides from the moment that they choose an outdoor location, that they may have to relocate inside. I always tell them that I will do everything in my power to keep them with plan A, but must have a good back up plan B as well.

When we choose our ceremony decor, we choose it with the backup location in mind. When we make a photography list, we do it with the back up location in mind. Every step of the planning process keeps plan B in mind. It helps when the wedding day rolls around so that the bride is not as disappointed. Usually the bride is quite cooperative when I come to tell her that we have to move inside, because she has a vision of what it will look like already — plus I keep my ceremony doused with buckets of water in my back pocket at all times.

Fortunately, for my beautiful bride Courtney at the Mansion this past weekend, the courtyard was covered by a tent, and the staff was so helpful that they offered to cover the guests with umbrellas for the short leap between the lobby and the tent. We were all prepared for the rain. And guess what? In spite of the horrible clouds, it didn’t rain!

I was watching The Early Show while getting ready for work today. Laura and Jenna Bush were on promoting a children’s book they co-authored. The last few minutes of the interview, Mrs. Bush was asked what she hopes for her daughter on her wedding day. I was putting on mascara while she was speaking, so I have to paraphrase what she said… In essence, Mrs. Bush’s hope for Jenna is that she is able to relax and enjoy every minute of the wedding day. The day goes by so quickly and it is easy to forget special moments that take place.

That is the most wonderful sentiment from a mother to a daughter on her wedding day.

I encourage brides to not obsess over every last detail of their weddings. Once the big day comes around, it is crucial to just let everything unfold. The wedding day is not the time to worry about flowers being slightly off color, or linens being wrinkled. It is important to let all of that go so that you can enjoy and remember every special moment.

Looking back on my own wedding, the things I remember most have to do with the people who were there. Some of them are no longer on this earth, some have lost touch, others, I speak with regularly. I cherish the memory of all of them dancing, laughing and enjoying themselves. I must confess, I was very unhappy with my flowers that day, but I didn’t let it bother me. My photographer even commented to me that he had never seen a bride enjoy herself more on her wedding day.

That was very true… I didn’t want it to end. I enjoyed every second.

Keep that in mind as you approach your wedding day. Things will go wrong… No matter how careful you are, no matter how much planning you do, something will happen. The key to enjoying your wedding day is not with having a perfect wedding, its in how you handle the things that come up.

Just keep a sense of humor and keep dancing!

Today I took over a client from one of the other planners in my company. This unfortunately happens from time-to-time when there is turnover.

Turnover is a frequent occurrence in the event industry; people get promoted or change companies. Unfortunately, this particular bride has had to deal with being passed from one person to another a few times during her planning process. My staff went through two changes and her catering manager also changed jobs and she was given to another manager there.

When I spoke with her mom today, she wasn’t very happy. She was worried that everything she and her daughter had planned was being diluted by being passed among so many people. I assured her that I had everyone’s notes and that all would be just fine. She was further comforted by the fact that as the owner of the company, I wasn’t going anywhere!

Change most certainly happens during the wedding planning process. How are you to survive and not go insane (or worse, turn into Bridezilla)? Here are some tips:

1. Keep good notes. This is why I LOVE email. My planners keep all the correspondence they have between the vendors and the bride so that if something were to happen, someone else could easily step in and take over.

2. Keep in constant contact with your vendors. If something changes at the company, you will be among the first to know. This doesn’t mean call every week, but send an email every once and a while letting them know how your planning is coming along. Your pleasant email will keep you at the top of your vendors’ minds.

3. Express your frustration (if you have any) with the change, then let it go. This presumes that the company with whom you are working has hired a competent replacement for the person who left. If you aren’t happy with the replacement, talk with her first. Let her know your concerns. If your concerns are still not addressed, calmly speak to her superior. Make sure you can specifically address how your needs aren’t being met.

4. Set up a face-to-face meeting with the replacement. This is an excellent time to get to know her and to make sure she has all the details that her predecessor had.

Change is really difficult, especially with something as detailed and emotional as planning a wedding. I know that my clients get very attached to me. (The reverse is true as well.) Just understand that people move on in every business. If your vendors are professional, they will help you through the change.

Planning a wedding is no easy task. The months leading up to your big day are going to be filled with excitement, emotions and big spending. The best way to make sure you don’t start your new marriage horribly in debt is to determine what you can spend and how you are going to spend it. Below are my top five secrets that will help you create a meaningful budget and stick to it.

1. Create an accurate guest list. Your biggest expenses, like your food and beverage bill, linens and centerpieces will be greatly influenced by your guest count. That makes the guest list the single most important variable in your budget. Whether you do it by spreadsheet or index cards, before you do anything else, decide how many people you will invite and how many will actually attend.

2. Determine what is most important to you. Typically I find that the food and beverage bill accounts for nearly half of a wedding’s overall budget. So, if you are going to spend $30,000 on your overall wedding, figure $15,000 of that will go to feeding your guests. That leaves you with only $15,000 to spend on everything else. You will be surprised how fast that money goes. You must determine the items that are most important to you. Do you want an extraordinary gown? You may have to cut back on the flowers. Do you want a 10-piece band? You may have to cut back on the photographer.

3. Don’t forget extra fees. In Orlando, most hotels and restaurants charge a 22 percent service fee and then tax on top of this. On a $10,000 food and beverage bill, that adds almost $3,000.00 in fees. You can also expect chef attendant fees if you do action stations. Some locations also charge cake cutting fees if you don’t purchase the cake from them. These fees can really add up. Don’t forget to plan for them.

4. Once you know what you can spend on each service, share that with the vendors you meet. Hopefully all the wedding professionals that you interview are, well, professional. If they are, they won’t hesitate to help you figure out how to get the most for your dollar. If you have $800.00 to spend on a wedding gown, tell the salon that’s all you have to spend. They will show you beautiful gowns that you can afford rather than tempting you with something out of range.

5. Set up a wedding bank account or debit card. This will keep you from digging into your savings or going into credit card debt. Also, if you have people helping you pay for your wedding, you can have them contribute directly to the account. This will help you avoid the pain of calling that person every five minutes when you need financial help. It also will make that person less likely to give you unsolicited advice with every decision you make.

Following these five easy tips will make shopping for your wedding a much more pleasant experience AND you won’t return from your honeymoon with a big case of shopper’s remorse. More great tips for planning the wedding of your dreams can be found are on my new dvd, Susan Southerland’s Just Marry! Wedding Planning Secrets, available on justmarry.com or amazon.com. All those who purchase a DVD receive free access to all my favorite forms.

I love my job! Each and every day I am grateful for my clients and my associates. My career has taken me around the country and around the world. I have met hundreds, maybe thousands of wedding professionals — some very famous that you would recognize and others who just humbly run their small business every day. From photographers and videographers to catering managers and other wedding planners, they are wonderful people who dedicate their careers to create a beautiful, memorable day for couples and their families.

I remember one incident very fondly that happened several years ago. I was at an Association of Bridal Consultants convention in San Diego. Colin Cowie was our keynote speaker. He was open and warm and shared many of his tips and secrets to his success. Some of those tips I put into my day to day business routine, others were so meaningful to me that they wove themselves into my business philosophy. He also spent quite a bit of time chatting with us “up and comers,” never rolling an eye or acting impatient. He mentioned again and again how important his team was. That no wedding day succeeded on the shoulders of one vendor. I was amazed that someone with such a high profile had such a team philosophy. I have never forgotten that.

I found that philosophy to be prevalent among the other famous wedding planners whom I have met; Preston Bailey, Mindy Weiss, David Tutera, Sasha Souza, Marci Bloom — none of whom acted as self-anointed Gods of the wedding industry. All gave credit to their team and their vendors.

It is that type of mentality that you should look for when seeking a wedding vendor. Those planners, photographers, videographers, etc. who are truly great, know they can’t do it alone. We can only succeed as one group working to make your wedding day amazing.

So my advice for today, if you are shopping for a vendor and you hear a great deal of “me, me, me,” run for the door. There are many brilliant, talented wedding professionals who have carved out an entire career focused on “you, you, you.” Seek them out. You will be delighted with the result.

I recently saw a post by a bride lamenting that her mother-in-law was interfering with the wedding plans. Essentially, the MIL was concerned that not enough of the wedding planning was completed, even though the wedding is more than a year away. Honestly, this bride has more done than I would expect since she has so much time ahead of her.

Oftentimes moms interfere because they are worried about the impression that their friends will have of the event. Most of us think of the wedding as being for the bride and groom, but for some parents, it is a sign of affluence or accomplishment.

This situation has to be handled with great care. After all, you have to live with your mother-in-law long after the wedding takes place. Even if you get annoyed, think of ways to alleviate her fears. Create a time line of when you plan on accomplishing things. Show her a checklist to follow so she can mark off things when they are completed. Try to take some of her suggestions and concerns under consideration.

A little extra time and courtesy can make a big difference in your future relationship. Don’t let her walk all over you, but let her know her opinion means something to you. You may have to gently remind her that its your wedding, but a little kindness will go a long way.

YES, YES, YES!

I have to tell you. I am planning destination weddings for two clients, one in Italy and one in the Bahamas. It is a very different experience from planning one locally. It is much more time consuming. I plan weddings all day long. I can’t imagine fitting in all the details if I were working a full time job AND planning my wedding.

Here is what we need to do to get the marriage license in Italy:

Get copies of birth certificates with an Apostille.
Have the documents translated into Italian.
Go to an Italian Embassy and swear in person that you are eligible for marriage.
Go to the region where the wedding takes place to get an Atto Notorio.

Then, weddings in Italy can only take place in the town hall. So we have to have the official wedding in the morning in the town hall and a symbolic wedding at their desired location in the afternoon.

The most interesting part of this wedding is that we had to get permission from the mayor of the town to get married in July since they typically do not do weddings in July or August. Pheww!

I always learn something new!

In the end, my bride and groom are going to get the wedding they always dreamed about… but it is a lot of work. If you have dreams of getting married in Europe, or some exotic locale, make sure you know what you are getting into… Most importantly, hire a good, patient and determined wedding planner!

There is so much attention spent to planning a wedding properly. You can find numerous checklists on the Internet and in magazines telling you what to do when. I think there should be more attention spent to how you spend the twenty-four hours prior to your wedding day. It is with that in mind that I came up with the following checklist:

Starting Your Wedding Day Right

1. Don’t get completely hammered the night before. Wedding weekends are a great time to celebrate and alcohol is typically a part of that celebration. I love a good martini, and sometimes, I love to have lots of them. However, the night before your wedding is not the time to over imbibe. You will feel miserable on your wedding day and you certainly won’t look your best. So, the night before, enjoy one or two, but switch to club soda at some point during the evening.
    
2. Get plenty of rest. Again, late nights are so much fun and it is so tempting to celebrate all night with your friends, but you want to be your best on your wedding day. Set a time in your mind when you need to leave to go to sleep and share that time with your friends, they will help you stick to it.
    
3. Wake up and eat breakfast. Sometimes when nerves get the best of us, we don’t feel like eating. Nerves and starvation don’t go well together. If you want to avoid fainting during your ceremony or simply avoid the miserable feeling of low blood sugar, have a nice simple breakfast and plan to eat small snacks throughout the day.
    
4. Avoid too much alcohol prior to the ceremony. First off, some officiants will not perform a wedding ceremony if they have any inkling that the bride or groom are intoxicated; even if that isn’t an issue, if you get too intoxicated too early, you will not enjoy the ceremony and reception. Also, sloppy-drunk brides are not pretty.
    
5. Do something relaxing while you wait for your ceremony time. Avoid answering emails or working. Gather your closest friends and people who don’t stress you out, and talk, listen to music, put your makeup on together. Just enjoy spending time with those who you love.
    
6. Give your cell phone to someone to hold for you. I have noticed that the bride and groom get inundated with phone calls on the wedding day. I have often wondered if guests consider that the couple is getting ready to get married. They have things to do other than worry about transportation, ceremony start times and missing socks. Let someone else deal with issues that day.
    
7. Put yourself in a positive state of mind. Shoe gets a stain — don’t worry. Flowers pale pink instead of light pink — don’t worry. Break a finger nail — don’t worry. I think you get the idea… small things just don’t matter on the wedding day. No one else will notice most minor catastrophes. Prepare to enjoy yourself and don’t let anything stress you out. I have found that wedding celebrations are disturbed not by the little mishaps that come up, but by the way those mishaps are dealt with by the bride, groom and their parents. Don’t let anything get in the way of having an amazing day.
    
8. Relax and have fun. During the months of planning your wedding, you should have been planning a celebration that reflects you and your groom. You should get ready to enjoy your favorite food, dance to your favorite music and spend time with your favorite family and friends. Let yourself relish every moment. Once you say your vows, eat, drink, dance and enjoy every moment. It will go so fast. Don’t let the fun pass you by.
    

Following some of these tips will help you look your best and start your wedding day right! After all, your wedding is the climax of months of planning… special attention and care should go toward making you look your best on the grand finale!

Hi All,

I am very, very excited. After working for a year, my new wedding planning DVD is finally here and available to you! Susan Southerland’s Wedding Planning Secrets has my most sought-after advice in one DVD.

I share my secrets for choosing colors, creating a reasonable budget, dealing with vendors and organizing the day. Check out the website for more information.

I will be at the Perfect Wedding Guide wedding show on Sunday at the Buena Vista Palace. If you are in Orlando, come see me. I am looking forward to discussing your wedding plans with you and on my table, is my Ten Inspirational Ideas for an Out of the Ordinary Wedding idea list, to assist you in planning a memorable wedding!

I hope to see you there!

I went on yet another fitting with a bride this weekend. She too had lost a bunch of weight — twenty-five pounds… what an amazing feat! The seamstress pinned her (we needed to take the dress in about an inch and a half), but she stopped short of finalizing all of the alterations. The bride had purchased a bra to wear underneath the gown, but it just didn’t fit her properly.

I am used to bridal salons sewing cups directly into the gown for the best fit, but I learned this weekend that it doesn’t work for anyone larger than a “C” cup. The seamstress then told us that the proper undergarment can make the difference between looking very nice in a wedding gown, or spectacular.

She said that it is very important to go to someone who really knows how to measure for the proper fit. Most women do not have the correct size bra and that can make one’s figure look droopy.

Well my bride was off to the lingerie shop after our fitting. I will keep you posted on how that went.