I hope you had fun with the quiz yesterday and that now you are ready to move full-speed ahead into planning your big day. Regardless of whether you are planning to do everything yourself or just do some things yourself, there are some important tasks you must to do make sure you don’t get overloaded on the wedding day. Here are my top eight essential tips for the DIY bride.

1. Get everything in writing. This is something that everyone knows to do when hiring a professional vendor, but sometimes we overlook it when having a friend do work for us. It is important to have all of your expectations as well as your friend’s expectations clearly stated in a letter of agreement. This will help avoid misunderstandings and disappointments later.
    
2. Include the following in your agreement: The date of the wedding. The time of the wedding. The time you want your friend to show up on site. Your friend’s jobs on the wedding day. The hours your friend will be working. The items your friend is responsible for bringing on the wedding day. If your friend is delivering services after the wedding day (like an album or a video) put the date of final delivery in your agreement.
    
3. Tell your professional vendors that you will be using friends for some of your services. The professionals may have some suggestions as to how your friends can work best with them.
    
4. Put one friend in charge of the group. She will act as the point person for the ceremony and reception site manager as well as for your other friends who are helping. Make sure you give her cell phone number to the managers and to your other friends. You do not want to be the contact person on the wedding day.
    
5. A month prior to your wedding, introduce your “in charge” friend to your ceremony and reception site managers and other wedding professionals. I have found that things run more smoothly when the professionals and the friend have some rapport in advance of the wedding day.
    
6. Find out who at your ceremony and reception site is going to be in charge on the wedding day and get phone numbers for your “in charge” friend to call with questions.
    
7. If you are providing items (like decor) on the wedding day, mark things clearly for your friends. I suggest putting items in boxes marked for the ceremony and for the reception separately. Write a list of what each item is for and where it is to be setup.
    
8. Create an agenda for the wedding day. I suggest doing this whether you are using all professionals, a combination of friends and professionals or all friends. There are a lot of formalities to remember on the wedding day. You don’t want anything overlooked.
    

It is important to remember that on the wedding day there is limited time to get things done, and everything must be done correctly the first time. Your friends may be surprised by the stress level on the day; which is why it is very important to give them concise instructions in advance of the wedding day. You do not want tempers running short when the heat is on.

Come back tomorrow for tips from my favorite caterer. You will learn the number one problem with catering your own reception and how to solve it and also tips on working with a professional caterer to save money.

Before we get into the advice for the do-it-yourself bride, I thought it would be fun for you to take a brief quiz to find out how much of a do-it-youselfer you really are. Have fun!

1. To be a good and responsible DIYB I know I will have to create a budget. The following statement best explains how I feel about budgeting.

   a. I love working with numbers! I have a calculator in my purse and a spreadsheet open at all times at my desk.

   b. I know I need a budget, but I am not really sure how to put one together. A little guidance would be good.

   c. Budget? What’s a budget?

2. A big part of the wedding planning process means interviewing vendors, reading contracts and negotiating services. The following statement best explains how I feel about working with vendors.

   a. I love the art of the deal. Negotiating is in my blood. I can’t wait to conduct interviews and review dozens and dozens of contracts to make sure I get the most for my money.

   b. I don’t mind talking with vendors. I am pretty sure I know what I want and I can discuss it with everyone to make sure my expectations are met. The contracts should be pretty standard, after careful reading, they should be fine.

   c. Interviewing vendors, negotiating contracts? I don’t know what to say or what to do. Help!

3. Every bride wants her wedding to look special and unique amongst the other weddings she has attended. The DIYB will need to research decorating ideas and keep up with the latest wedding trends. The following statement best describes how I feel about creating my wedding look.

   a. Tulle, satin, bows and flowers… I can’t wait to be surrounded by all of them. I plan on buying every bridal magazine in print. Every day during my lunch break (and sometimes when work is slow) I am going to surf the Internet looking for the most creative wedding ideas I can find. I am going to get pictures of everything I love and make a collage to take to my floral and decorating appointments — I may even take a trip to the craft store to see if I can make things myself!

   b. I definitely want to put my signature on my wedding. I am sure I can come up with a few fun ideas while paging through magazines and looking online. My friends will help me with that as well. As long as someone can help me put it all together, I will be fine.

   c. A look for my wedding… I thought I was brilliant when I chose sky blue and chocolate for my colors. Who has time to research every last idea?

4. Another way to make your wedding look distinct from other weddings is to come up with an unusual favor or welcome basket. The following statement best explains how I feel about finding favors and items for my welcome baskets.

   a. As soon as I am done looking at décor, I am going to get right on looking for my favors. I wonder how many types of favors will fit on my table. I wonder if I can get chocolates made in my wedding colors. I better start looking for containers for my welcome gifts… I only have eighteen months until the wedding! I better clear my dining room table to start the assembly line.

   b. I love the idea of having some interesting favors on my tables. I will search the Internet for some good stuff. I may even find some things for the welcome baskets, but if not, there are some great shops that will make something pretty for me.

   c. Favors? Welcome bags? Isn’t it enough that I am buying them dinner? I am sure I can find some chocolates or something.

5. Being a careful planner is important, but you also have to make sure things run smoothly on the wedding day. This means organizing the rehearsal and making an agenda for the flow of the day including delivery and setup, wedding reception activities and tear down. The following statement best describes how I feel about organizing the wedding day.

   a. I love creating agendas. I know exactly how my wedding will go minute by minute from the time I get up in the morning until my groom and I ride off to our honeymoon. Confirming vendors won’t be a problem. I have all of them in an email database and have been sending them a monthly progress report. As for the rehearsal, I already created a diagram for everyone to follow.

   b. I think I can put together a pretty reasonable agenda. I will follow up with all my vendors two weeks prior to the wedding day and find out when they need to setup. The rehearsal should go smoothly. I have a pretty good idea where I want everyone to stand.

   c. Setup and tear down? Rehearsal? Can’t we just go with the flow?

Now go back and look at which letters you have circled.

If you have mostly the letter “a” you are the ultimate DIYB. You want to do it all, in fact, you should probably email us your resume!

If you have mostly the letter “b” you are like most brides, you want to do some. You have a bit of the DIY bug, but you would like some guidance and to work with some professionals to get your goods and services.

If you have mostly “c” answers, you want to do just a bit. Many DIYBs fall under this category too. You want to have input on creative ideas, but you want to rely mostly on professionals to get your wedding planning done.

Come back tomorrow to take the first steps to becoming the ultimate DIY bride, whether you want to do a bit or want to do it all.

I’ve been writing for months about the importance of budgeting and reasonable spending while planning your wedding. Although I love the extravagant, over-the-top wedding, it just isn’t possible for everyone; nor is it necessary to have a joyous celebration.

We predicted that 2008 would be the year of the do-it-yourself bride, and it certainly was. Some brides choose to do things themselves because they want to be a more active participant in the wedding-planning process, others do it to save money. Whichever category you fit, I am dedicating the final two weeks of the year to you; the DIY Bride.

There are positive and negative aspects to doing things for yourself on your wedding day. Much of the outcome depends on how you handle stress, how organized you are and how reliable your friends and family are when it comes to executing your plans.

I remember several years ago, one of my brides “hired” her close friend to do the wedding cake. She put in writing everything that she wanted for the cake; the flavor, the design, the date of delivery; she even invited the friend to attend. Two weeks prior to the wedding I called the friend to confirm all the details and all was fine. The wedding day rolled around and all the vendors were scurrying around to setup. The time for the cake delivery came, and no cake. We still had plenty of time so I waited a half hour. Still no cake. I tried calling the friend, there was no answer. The friend finally called the bride about an hour prior to the ceremony to tell her that her son had been sick and she forgot about the wedding. She didn’t make the cake and she wouldn’t be attending the wedding.

Wow! That was an unpleasant surprise. My team ran to a local grocery store to pickup a last minute cake. Obviously it wasn’t exactly like the cake the couple had wanted, but at least there was a cake. The bride was devastated. It changed her relationship with her friend as well.

Does every DIY situation turn out like this? Of course not. Is there a risk? Absolutely. Anytime you are dealing with a situation that is as important and as stressful as a wedding day, you run the risk of ending or changing friendships. If the bride hired a professional pastry chef, that situation would most likely not have happened, but if it had, the bride would have screamed and yelled, gotten her money back and have been done with it. Since it was her good-friend who left her hanging on her wedding day, she lost a long-standing friendship.

This is just one of the things to consider when relying on family and friends to provide services for your wedding. Tomorrow, I will post a quiz to see what kind of a Do It Yourself Bride you are. Do you have the fortitude to do everything yourself, from hiring vendors, to making invitations and favors, or are you more of a part-time DIY who wants to add some personal touches while still having professional guidance along the way?

Over the next two weeks you will see interviews with some of my favorite wedding vendors with recommendations on doing things for your wedding yourself versus using a professional. I will also include money saving tips for you if you decide to work with a professional.

For those of you who are celebrating… Happy Hanukkah!