Wedding Planning Blog

Destination Weddings seems to be a topic on everyone’s minds. We at Just Marry! have seen a big increase in destination weddings here in Orlando and outbound as well.

A college student writing an article for Boston University just contacted me to ask me questions about the pros and cons of planning a destination wedding. As soon as the article comes out, I will link to it. Anyway, one of her questions was, is a destination wedding less or more expensive than a traditional wedding.

That is an interesting question!

My associate Aimee Bressler handles most of our inbound Orlando destination weddings. Her brides typically have fifty guests or fewer. Many of her clients say that they decided to do a destination wedding specifically so they don’t have to invite 250 guests to attend. Some of them do it for budgetary reasons, others do it because they don’t want to be “on stage” on their wedding day.

Aimee’s clients typically spend between $3000.00 and $12,000.00 on their entire wedding. That certainly seems like a big savings over an in-town traditional wedding.

Michele Butler and I typically handle the outbound destination weddings and the large in-bound destination weddings. Our clients for outbound weddings typically have ten to 100 guests and spend starting at $40,000.00. That’s a lot of money for ten people! The reason these couples do it, usually has something to do with sentimentality. They want to be married in a place that is very special to them and they want to share that place with their guests.

Our inbound destination weddings spend anywhere from $40,000.00 to $150,000.00 or more. These weddings typically have 150 guests or more. These couples usually say they marry here because the guests live all over the country, or all over the world, and they wanted to have their wedding in a location that was easy to travel to and had lots of things for their guests to do.

So, can you save money planning a destination wedding? Absolutely, but you have to plan carefully!

It isn’t often that I toot my own horn, but I was so honored and excited to see this write-up by Jean Patteson, Fashion Editor at the Orlando Sentinel. I hope you will indulge me by allowing me to share these kudos with you.

Question: My stepdaughter will be married in September and has asked me to work with her on planning the wedding. I feel honored, of course, but also terrified. I have no idea where to begin — and she doesn’t either. Can you help?

Answer: There are loads of wedding how-to books, but reading is a solitary business. A wedding-planning DVD, on the other hand, is something you and your step-daughter can watch together, pausing whenever you want to discuss a point or make notes. And if there are tips and ideas you’d like to share with the groom and/or father-of-the-bride, all you need do is hit “rewind” and “play.”

Believe me, it is easier to get most men to watch a DVD than read a bridal magazine.

One of the best DVDs I’ve viewed is JustMarry!: Wedding Planning Secrets by Orlando wedding planner Susan Southerland. She covers everything from selecting a gown, invitations and venue, to working with vendors — photographers, musicians, bakers, caterers and more. Packed with no-nonsense tips for saving time, money and stress, the DVD is aimed at both do-it-yourself brides and those working with professional planners.

Southerland, a 20-year veteran of the wedding-planning and travel industries, and a member of the Association of Bridal Consultants, is founder and president of Just Marry! She has helped plan more than 5,000 weddings and appeared on the Style Network’s Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? and The Learning Channel’s Wedding Story.

The 68-minute DVD costs $29.95, and can be ordered at justmarry.com.

Jean Patteson

Today I took over a client from one of the other planners in my company. This unfortunately happens from time-to-time when there is turnover.

Turnover is a frequent occurrence in the event industry; people get promoted or change companies. Unfortunately, this particular bride has had to deal with being passed from one person to another a few times during her planning process. My staff went through two changes and her catering manager also changed jobs and she was given to another manager there.

When I spoke with her mom today, she wasn’t very happy. She was worried that everything she and her daughter had planned was being diluted by being passed among so many people. I assured her that I had everyone’s notes and that all would be just fine. She was further comforted by the fact that as the owner of the company, I wasn’t going anywhere!

Change most certainly happens during the wedding planning process. How are you to survive and not go insane (or worse, turn into Bridezilla)? Here are some tips:

1. Keep good notes. This is why I LOVE email. My planners keep all the correspondence they have between the vendors and the bride so that if something were to happen, someone else could easily step in and take over.

2. Keep in constant contact with your vendors. If something changes at the company, you will be among the first to know. This doesn’t mean call every week, but send an email every once and a while letting them know how your planning is coming along. Your pleasant email will keep you at the top of your vendors’ minds.

3. Express your frustration (if you have any) with the change, then let it go. This presumes that the company with whom you are working has hired a competent replacement for the person who left. If you aren’t happy with the replacement, talk with her first. Let her know your concerns. If your concerns are still not addressed, calmly speak to her superior. Make sure you can specifically address how your needs aren’t being met.

4. Set up a face-to-face meeting with the replacement. This is an excellent time to get to know her and to make sure she has all the details that her predecessor had.

Change is really difficult, especially with something as detailed and emotional as planning a wedding. I know that my clients get very attached to me. (The reverse is true as well.) Just understand that people move on in every business. If your vendors are professional, they will help you through the change.

Planning a wedding is no easy task. The months leading up to your big day are going to be filled with excitement, emotions and big spending. The best way to make sure you don’t start your new marriage horribly in debt is to determine what you can spend and how you are going to spend it. Below are my top five secrets that will help you create a meaningful budget and stick to it.

1. Create an accurate guest list. Your biggest expenses, like your food and beverage bill, linens and centerpieces will be greatly influenced by your guest count. That makes the guest list the single most important variable in your budget. Whether you do it by spreadsheet or index cards, before you do anything else, decide how many people you will invite and how many will actually attend.

2. Determine what is most important to you. Typically I find that the food and beverage bill accounts for nearly half of a wedding’s overall budget. So, if you are going to spend $30,000 on your overall wedding, figure $15,000 of that will go to feeding your guests. That leaves you with only $15,000 to spend on everything else. You will be surprised how fast that money goes. You must determine the items that are most important to you. Do you want an extraordinary gown? You may have to cut back on the flowers. Do you want a 10-piece band? You may have to cut back on the photographer.

3. Don’t forget extra fees. In Orlando, most hotels and restaurants charge a 22 percent service fee and then tax on top of this. On a $10,000 food and beverage bill, that adds almost $3,000.00 in fees. You can also expect chef attendant fees if you do action stations. Some locations also charge cake cutting fees if you don’t purchase the cake from them. These fees can really add up. Don’t forget to plan for them.

4. Once you know what you can spend on each service, share that with the vendors you meet. Hopefully all the wedding professionals that you interview are, well, professional. If they are, they won’t hesitate to help you figure out how to get the most for your dollar. If you have $800.00 to spend on a wedding gown, tell the salon that’s all you have to spend. They will show you beautiful gowns that you can afford rather than tempting you with something out of range.

5. Set up a wedding bank account or debit card. This will keep you from digging into your savings or going into credit card debt. Also, if you have people helping you pay for your wedding, you can have them contribute directly to the account. This will help you avoid the pain of calling that person every five minutes when you need financial help. It also will make that person less likely to give you unsolicited advice with every decision you make.

Following these five easy tips will make shopping for your wedding a much more pleasant experience AND you won’t return from your honeymoon with a big case of shopper’s remorse. More great tips for planning the wedding of your dreams can be found are on my new dvd, Susan Southerland’s Just Marry! Wedding Planning Secrets, available on justmarry.com or amazon.com. All those who purchase a DVD receive free access to all my favorite forms.

I love my job! Each and every day I am grateful for my clients and my associates. My career has taken me around the country and around the world. I have met hundreds, maybe thousands of wedding professionals — some very famous that you would recognize and others who just humbly run their small business every day. From photographers and videographers to catering managers and other wedding planners, they are wonderful people who dedicate their careers to create a beautiful, memorable day for couples and their families.

I remember one incident very fondly that happened several years ago. I was at an Association of Bridal Consultants convention in San Diego. Colin Cowie was our keynote speaker. He was open and warm and shared many of his tips and secrets to his success. Some of those tips I put into my day to day business routine, others were so meaningful to me that they wove themselves into my business philosophy. He also spent quite a bit of time chatting with us “up and comers,” never rolling an eye or acting impatient. He mentioned again and again how important his team was. That no wedding day succeeded on the shoulders of one vendor. I was amazed that someone with such a high profile had such a team philosophy. I have never forgotten that.

I found that philosophy to be prevalent among the other famous wedding planners whom I have met; Preston Bailey, Mindy Weiss, David Tutera, Sasha Souza, Marci Bloom — none of whom acted as self-anointed Gods of the wedding industry. All gave credit to their team and their vendors.

It is that type of mentality that you should look for when seeking a wedding vendor. Those planners, photographers, videographers, etc. who are truly great, know they can’t do it alone. We can only succeed as one group working to make your wedding day amazing.

So my advice for today, if you are shopping for a vendor and you hear a great deal of “me, me, me,” run for the door. There are many brilliant, talented wedding professionals who have carved out an entire career focused on “you, you, you.” Seek them out. You will be delighted with the result.

I recently saw a post by a bride lamenting that her mother-in-law was interfering with the wedding plans. Essentially, the MIL was concerned that not enough of the wedding planning was completed, even though the wedding is more than a year away. Honestly, this bride has more done than I would expect since she has so much time ahead of her.

Oftentimes moms interfere because they are worried about the impression that their friends will have of the event. Most of us think of the wedding as being for the bride and groom, but for some parents, it is a sign of affluence or accomplishment.

This situation has to be handled with great care. After all, you have to live with your mother-in-law long after the wedding takes place. Even if you get annoyed, think of ways to alleviate her fears. Create a time line of when you plan on accomplishing things. Show her a checklist to follow so she can mark off things when they are completed. Try to take some of her suggestions and concerns under consideration.

A little extra time and courtesy can make a big difference in your future relationship. Don’t let her walk all over you, but let her know her opinion means something to you. You may have to gently remind her that its your wedding, but a little kindness will go a long way.

I just received the photos from the Ritz-Carlton Bridal Showcase. Thank you very much to Damon Tucci, a wonderful photographer here in Orlando for these lovely photographs. I hope you enjoy them.

Once again, Michele and I couldn’t have done it without Lee Forrest. He is an amazing designer and an amazing friend!

YES, YES, YES!

I have to tell you. I am planning destination weddings for two clients, one in Italy and one in the Bahamas. It is a very different experience from planning one locally. It is much more time consuming. I plan weddings all day long. I can’t imagine fitting in all the details if I were working a full time job AND planning my wedding.

Here is what we need to do to get the marriage license in Italy:

Get copies of birth certificates with an Apostille.
Have the documents translated into Italian.
Go to an Italian Embassy and swear in person that you are eligible for marriage.
Go to the region where the wedding takes place to get an Atto Notorio.

Then, weddings in Italy can only take place in the town hall. So we have to have the official wedding in the morning in the town hall and a symbolic wedding at their desired location in the afternoon.

The most interesting part of this wedding is that we had to get permission from the mayor of the town to get married in July since they typically do not do weddings in July or August. Pheww!

I always learn something new!

In the end, my bride and groom are going to get the wedding they always dreamed about… but it is a lot of work. If you have dreams of getting married in Europe, or some exotic locale, make sure you know what you are getting into… Most importantly, hire a good, patient and determined wedding planner!

I had a rare day off yesterday (a Saturday) and it was wonderful! I got together with three of my best girlfriends. We had a great lunch with mimosas and then we had a pedicure. We laughed and talked all afternoon. It was so relaxing — Truly good for the soul.

It made me think about many of my brides who ask me whether or not I think they should schedule a bridesmaids luncheon or a spa day with their girls. My answer every time is YES! What could be better than spending time with your closest friends? Its a great way to unwind and get ready for the crazy days ahead.

Some day spas will have a group pedicure room that you can rent for a couple of hours, have wine and snacks and hang out while they make your feet pretty. Other pedicure salons will have you in the same room with the other clients. That is still fun. You will definitely be treated like a celebrity when you mention you are a bride-to-be.

There are so many things to think about during the wedding planning process, don’t forget to schedule some time for yourself among all the vendor meetings and gown fittings. You will be a much happier bride!

Yesterday my team and I participated in the most wonderful wedding show at the Ritz-Carlton, Orlando Grand Lakes. The concept was to have the best wedding planners in the city including Susie Weiss from Wonderful Weddings, Lisa Konecny from E-Events , my good friend and colleague, Michele Butler, and me with the rest of the Just Marry! team, work with our favorite designers to come up with signature looks to present to brides.

Lee Forrest was our wonderful designer. He did an incredible job.

The results were amazing. I am including some photos below. My camera does not do the work justice. I will post the ones from the professionals, including those from my wedding-planner friends, as soon as I get copies.

I hope you enjoy the photos!