Wedding Blog

I know its late, but I just had to blog about the webinar this evening. We had a great group of ladies from Florida, Virginia, Missouri and Georgia. One bride is getting married in just six weeks!

One of our brides asked a fantastic question that I wanted to share with you. She said that she registered at a couple of department stores and that they gave her cards to enclose in her invitations so that guests would know where to find her registry. She felt uncomfortable doing that and asked if that was proper.

I am so glad she stopped to ask… It is definitely NOT proper to enclose bridal registry information in your wedding invitation. If someone is throwing you a shower, it is definitely okay for the registry information to be enclosed in the shower invitation. After all, the idea of a shower is to “shower” you with gifts. Other ways to get the word out is via your wedding website, or the old fashioned way… Word of mouth!

We have another webinar tomorrow evening at 8 p.m. eastern time. If you would like to join us,(we have a lot of fun, you can have your questions answered personally, you can interact with brides around the country, AND you get a free Perfect Wedding Guide Wedding Workbook) please send me an email at susan.southerland@pwg.com.

If you have questions on this or any other wedding related topic, please post for me here or send me an email to susan.southerland@pwg.com. Also become a fan on Facebook by clicking here and follow me on Twitter by clicking here.

Your partner in perfect planning,

Susan

Jody, from Vineland, NJ, sent me the following email:

I have a “touchy issue” wedding question for you: How do I get my fiance to ask his parents if they will contribute financially to our wedding and what costs they would be willing to pick up? We’ve been engaged since Valentine’s Day of this year and are getting married next September 5th. During this entire time, my fiance’s parents have not made any offers to pay for anything. Granted, this will be my fiance’s second marriage and they are only inviting 22 guests while my parents and I are inviting 128. But they are retired and financially comfortable while my parents work and struggle to make a living. I don’t feel like they “owe” us anything, but it would be nice if they offered to contribute in some way. My fiance doesn’t want to ask, and my parents and I are not comfortable asking either. My fiance says the topic may come up naturally when the parents meet for the first time in October. What, if any thing, should I do? Any advice you can give me on this topic would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Here was my reply:

Hi Jody,

Thank you very much for your email. This is, indeed a tricky subject.

Monetary contributions to a wedding can be a very tricky subject. It definitely is something that your fiancé should approach his parents with. It might not be taken well coming from you or your parents. You may want to take a proactive approach by creating your wedding budget and sharing it with your fiance’s parents. He might then say we are finding that we have a cash shortfall of xx dollars, would you be willing to contribute?

You should be prepared in case the answer is no. They are under no obligation to contribute to the wedding expenses, especially since it is his second one. You may have to rearrange your budget so that you can afford the wedding without the extra cash.

Traditionally, the groom and his parents paid for the following wedding expenses:

• The bride’s engagement ring and wedding ring.
• The groom’s attire
• The marriage license
• Accommodations (if required) for immediate family, groomsmen, and officiant.
• A gift from the groom to the bride.
• Gifts from the groom to the groomsmen.
• A gift from the groom’s family to the couple. (If the groom’s family contributes to wedding expenses, often they will not purchase a separate gift.)
• Bride’s bouquet, mother and grandmother corsages, boutonnieres for the groom, groomsmen, ring bearers, and family members.
• The honeymoon expenses.
• Transportation for the groom and best man.
• The fee for the Officiant.
• The rehearsal dinner.
• Accessories for the groomsmen’s attire.
• The groomsmen’s dinner, if the groom chooses to have one.

I hope this is helpful. I am going to post your question on my blog to see if anyone else has any other useful advice. Keep watching the blog for more answers.

All the best,

Susan

If you have questions on this or any other wedding related topic, please post for me here or send me an email to susan.southerland@pwg.com. Also become a fan on Facebook by clicking here and follow me on Twitter by clicking here.

Your partner in perfect planning,

Susan

Hello all! I am back from my travels for a while. It was a nice break, but it was tough being so far from technology. I almost forgot how to type.

Upon my return, an interesting issue came about. I had a bride email me that she wanted to have welcome bags delivered to her guests’ rooms after they arrived to the hotel. I think this is a wonderful idea! Nothing says “we are excited that you are celebrating with us” better than a personalized gift with information about the wedding and a welcome note.

The issue this bride had was that the hotel wanted to charge her a fee for delivering the bags. She didn’t want to pay for this service and then asked to have the bags handed out at the front desk as guests arrived. Her catering manager cautioned her against this, and I have to say that I agree with the catering manager.

Keep in mind that every hotel is different, but this particular hotel has huge check in traffic on the weekend. The front desk is always buzzing with kids and guests coming and going. The likelihood of a gift bag being overlooked is pretty good when there is so much going on.

On the flip side, I know that when I check into a hotel, I have a ton of stuff in my hand — my purse, my carry on-bag, my sunglasses, my cell phone (I am always checking email). The last thing I want is another item to carry. Also, it is just so exciting to walk into the hotel room, drop my bags and see a beautiful gift bag waiting for me.

So let’s discuss the fee. Usually the gift bag delivery fee is very small. I have seen as little as $1.00 each up to $3.00 each. That fee is typically used to give a gratuity to the person making the deliveries. I think it is a worthwhile investment.

If you are absolutely opposed to paying the delivery fee, consider giving out the gift bags at the rehearsal dinner. It will be much less chaotic.

If you have questions on this or any other wedding related topic, please post for me here or send me an email to susan.southerland@pwg.com. Also become a fan on Facebook by clicking here and follow me on Twitter by clicking here.

Your partner in perfect planning,
Susan

Rehearsals can be really chaotic. It is typically the first time family and friends are seeing each other, so everyone is anxious to catch up and to start having fun. It seems the last thing anyone wants to do is take instructions on where to stand and how to walk. I have seen some very unruly bridesmaids and groomsmen in my time. If your wedding party is a bit rambunctious, send them these five simple rules on behaving well at your rehearsal.

1. Don’t show up intoxicated. I don’t think this requires explanation. Save the drinking for the rehearsal dinner.
2. Show up on time. Keep in mind that the bride and groom are probably nervous. Don’t make your timely arrival become one of the things they have to worry about. Also, many ceremony locations have time restrictions for the rehearsal. Showing up late might mean no rehearsal at all.
3. Pay attention and limit talking. The rehearsal will get done much faster if the person in charge doesn’t have to keep redirecting your attention. The faster the rehearsal is finished, the sooner you will be able to enjoy the post-rehearsal celebration.
4. If you are a reader, bring your reading with you to practice.
5. Be helpful. If the couple has items to transport to the ceremony site, offer to assist with carrying and storing. If guests need directions to the rehearsal dinner, hand out direction cards. There are countless opportunities for you to alleviate stress from the bride and groom the day before the wedding.

If you have any questions or comments on this topic or any other wedding related topic, please leave me a message here or email me at susan.southerland@pwg.com.

Your partner in perfect planning,

Susan

Happy Monday everyone. It’s another gloomy day here in Orlando. I am getting tired of the rain.

Wedding season is in full swing and I have been doing many, many rehearsals. This past weekend inspired me to do a week-long series on all things “rehearsal.” Here is the schedule for the week…

Monday — What you need to prepare for the rehearsal
Tuesday — Rehearsal etiquette for wedding party
Wednesday — How to run through the ceremony
Thursday — Rehearsal dinner ideas
Friday — Toasts and gift giving at rehearsal dinner

Here is my list of items you need for a smooth rehearsal:

1. Your marriage license. Your officiant will most likely want to take it from you at the rehearsal so you won’t have to worry about it on the wedding day.
2. If you haven’t paid your site fees in advance, be sure to bring what you owe so you can be paid in full prior to the wedding.
3. A list of the bridesmaids and groomsmen and their order at the altar. This will make it easier for the person conducting the rehearsal to organize everyone.
4. A list of the grandparents, mothers, bridesmaids and groomsmen in the order they will process down the aisle. If the grandparents and mothers are being ushered, make sure to include the ushers’ names next to the people they are ushering.
5. A list of song selections for the wedding party noting when the music is to change.
6. A copy of the ceremony readings. Readers are notorious for not having them at the rehearsal. The readers should take a moment to get comfortable with the mic and where they are standing. The audio person might want to do a sound check as well.
7. If your ceremony site has a secure place to store things, bring everything you need for the ceremony like guest book, pen, ring barer pillow, flower girl basket and unity candle, so you don’t have to think about it on the wedding day.
8. Written directions to the rehearsal dinner. You don’t want to waste time giving instructions to everyone, be prepared to hand them the information.

As always, relax and enjoy the rehearsal. Keep in mind, your wedding party is likely to be a bit more casual at the rehearsal than during the wedding ceremony. If they don’t stand in a perfect line or if they have their hands in their pockets, don’t sweat it. They will likely come to attention on the wedding day.

If you have any questions or if you would like to post some thoughts regarding any wedding subject, please leave me a message here, or send me an email to susan.southerland@pwg.com.

Your partner in perfect planning,

Susan