Wedding Planning Blog Perfect Wedding Guide

I received a call from a rather anxious bride last week. She is getting married on September 20th… THIS YEAR. She hadn’t hired anything for it and she and her fiance wanted to do it at their home, that they moved into a month ago! Whewww. This is certainly a challenge, but not impossible.

We did our first walk through with the caterers yesterday. As we were discussing setup and choosing menus it reminded me of how different it is to do a wedding at home rather than a hotel or reception facility; so I thought I would share some of my secrets for a spectacular at-home wedding with you while those differences were on my mind.

• Make sure you have ample parking. The average street isn’t big enough to park fifty to seventy-five cars. If by some chance, your street is big enough, you don’t want your guests to have to hike a mile to get to your wedding. When I plan an at-home wedding, I suggest having guests park off-site and running shuttles back and forth to the house, or hiring a valet service. Both options ensure smooth arrivals and departures.
   
• Make sure you have ample restrooms. Not every home is equipped to with enough bathrooms to handle 150 guests. If your home is on a septic system, you could have some really big problems if you aren’t careful. I suggest renting a portable restroom. Now before you scrunch up your nose and envision the restrooms you see on a construction site, check out this photo…



• I also suggest hiring a restroom attendant. It is nice to have someone dedicated to making sure the restroom is clean and fully stocked. You can typically find one through your caterer and the fee should be reasonable.
   
• Always have a back up plan. In a perfect world it would never rain, snow, be too hot, or too cold on someone’s wedding day, but we all know that the world isn’t perfect! You should plan everything with your guests’ comfort in mind.
   
• Make sure you have a place to move your furniture in case you need to clear space inside your home for guests or make plans to rent a tent. Keep in mind if it is pouring rain, you need a covered walkway for your guests to get to the tent.
   
• Look into air conditioning and heating for the tent. Air conditioning can be expensive, but it is well worth it on a really hot day.
   
• I have little secret for you. In Orlando we have a rental company that will allow brides to reserve a tent, pay for the permitting and then decide 72 hours prior to the wedding whether or not they actually want the tent. If the weather looks gorgeous and the bride decides she doesn’t want it, all she loses is the permitting fee. See if you can strike up a deal like that.
   
• Make sure the caterer has ample space to work. A good rule of thumb is to have at least one car space available in your garage for the caterer to setup his kitchen.
   
• Cut your lawn a day before the tent goes up and ask your gardener (or yourself if you maintain your lawn) to cut the grass as short as possible without injuring it.
   
• If you have your lawn sprayed for bugs, make sure you have it done a few days prior to the wedding. You want to be as bug-free as possible, but you don’t want the chemical smell on your wedding day.
   
• Have bug spray available for your guests, just in case mosquitoes decide to attend the wedding reception. One of my brides supplied dryer sheets for the guests to rub on their skin. The smell was much more pleasant than that of bug spray and it seemed to have worked!
   
• Make sure you have enough power going to the tent. Keep in mind you will have warming lights for the caterer, DJ or band equipment and lighting — that takes a lot of juice!
   
• Above all, hire someone to be in charge. Now I know I may seem biased because I am a wedding planner, but really, do you want to be in charge of all the hustle and bustle of setting up tents, setting up portable restrooms, and receiving equipment deliveries? You should be in your bedroom being pampered by your hair and makeup artist!
   

I have been doing a lot of research on eco-friendly wedding practices and on planning a wedding on a budget. One item came up over and over in both categories… used wedding gowns.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love clothes! I can’t fit all of my frocks in one closet. In all the clothing purchases I have made, I have never purchased anything used. I have never shopped in a consignment shop, thrift store or vintage clothing store; so at first blush, this idea sounded terrible to me. I never liked the idea of wearing someone else’s clothing, let alone something that another bride has worn down the aisle.

It took a cause greater than saving money to make me take notice to the idea of a previously-worn gown. It was the numerous articles I have read on how wearing used clothing helps save the environment because no new natural resources are needed to produce the clothing. With that said, I decided to investigate the pros and cons of purchasing and wearing a used wedding gown.

Used Gown Pros

1. You will save money. Whether you want an expensive designer gown or a more modestly priced dress, used is always cheaper than new. The money you save on the gown will allow you to either spend more money on another aspect of your wedding or you could actually put the left over money in the bank!
2. If you want to create an old-world look for your wedding, nothing that is manufactured today matches the attention to detail and workmanship found in a vintage wedding gown. Furthermore, you can be fairly certain that none of your friends will be wearing the same gown at their wedding.
3. If your used gown belongs to a family member or a close friend, the sentimental value to the gown is priceless. I cannot imagine a more significant way to honor a loved one than to wear her wedding gown

Used Gown Cons

1. Someone else has worn the gown. If you are superstitious or just feel funny about wearing someone else’s clothing, this may not be the best solution for your wedding gown purchase.
2. You will most likely not have an opportunity to try it on. You will have to go on faith that the size is correct and you may miss the “salon experience” that is unique to purchasing your wedding gown.
3. A used gown may have stains and tears that won’t be evident until you own it.

If you decide to purchase a used gown, read on for some helpful tips:

1. 1. Purchase the used gown through a reputable seller. There are many services on the Internet that broker used gowns.
2. 2. Find a good seamstress and dry cleaner to help with repairs prior to purchasing the used wedding gown so you don’t have to scramble when you receive the it.
3. 3. Ask the seller specific questions about the gown. Are there any flaws? What are they?
4. 4. Try to get photos from all angles of the gown. If there is something really wrong, you should be able to see it in the pictures.
5. 5. Pay for the gown with a credit card. If the worst happens and the gown is a disaster when you receive it, you will have some recourse against the seller.

As with all other purchases, follow your instincts. If you don’t have a good rapport with the seller or something feels suspicious, don’t buy the gown. You will find others out there.

Next time: Tips for selling your gown online. Share your beautiful gown with another bride, help the environment and make a little extra cash in the process.

Skyrocketing gas prices and crashing home sales have definitely had a tightening affect on America’s spending habits. I have been through a few economic downturns since starting my business, but this one seems to be the worst. Families have always spent good money on weddings, regardless of the economy, but this year, something is different.

I was discussing this topic with a former bride of mine this morning. We can’t decide if this recession is so much worse than the others, or if what people were spending on weddings had increased so sharply that now it is starting to adjust. Whatever the case may be, with the reduction in spending, I have noticed that some of my couples are questioning whether or not they can still have the wedding of their dreams.

I can tell you with absolute certainty, the answer is yes. For those of you who have read my blog regularly or have seen my other writing, you know that I strongly feel that a wedding is about the people with whom the couple chooses to celebrate, not about the amount of “stuff” at the wedding. Decor can be as beautiful at $1000.00 as it is at $10,000.00. A wedding reception can be as fun with 30 people as it is with 300 people.

Here are a few simple tips to planning a wedding on a reasonable budget:

If you are trying to maintain a particular budget, make sure you make the budget before you do anything else. For tips on planning a meaningful wedding budget, read my my post on the subject from last month. You can also get helpful tips on planning a budget and other ideas for your wedding by signing up for Just Marry!’s monthly newsletter.

Make sure to set priorities. There may be some items on which you can afford to splurge a little if you are able to contain the cost on other items.

Look for alternatives to expensive items. For example, rather than blowing your budget on thousands of dollars in flowers, use candles on the tables. Rather than purchase an expensive wedding gown, choose a beautiful dress from a department store, or look online or in a thrift store for previously worn dresses.

Have your reception at an off time so you don’t have to serve dinner. Consider a day time reception or maybe dessert.

Invite a few close friends to your wedding rather than hundreds of people you don’t know very well. I always suggest throwing a great party for a smaller group rather than a so-so party for a larger group.

There are many ideas out there on how you can save money while planning your wedding on the Internet. I will post my favorites in the coming weeks.

In the meantime, there was a great article yesterday in the Orlando Sentinel about weddings during the economic down turn. Check it out. Tammy Elliott, president of Perfect Wedding Guide, is quoted.

This past weekend I had a wedding in Savannah, Georgia. It was at the Mansion on Forsyth Park. It is a gorgeous property with a beautiful outdoor courtyard where couples love to tie the knot.

Outdoor weddings are very popular, particularly here in the South. The drawback is the weather. You cannot possibly predict exactly what the weather is going to be like. There are some months that are better than others in every city, but strange things happen.

Friday was beautiful… a little warm and humid, but that isn’t unusual for Savannah. Saturday morning was beautiful and a bit cooler (that was a definite warning). Saturday afternoon, was completely over cast with predictions of rain and tornado watches. UGH! This is the least favorite part of my job; making the rain call.

The rain call is easy when it is actually raining. But overcast skies are a nightmare for wedding planners and ceremony sites. We never want to disappoint the bride, but we have to protect the guests as well. Over the past sixteen years and the hundreds of outdoor weddings I have done, I have been put in a few bad spots.

One year we had a wedding at a resort in Orlando. The skies were gray, the radar predicted all kinds of storms, so finally the bride agreed to move the wedding inside. Guess what? It didn’t rain - not one drop! One of the groomsmen actually came up to my staff to ask if we could hose down the courtyard with water so the bride would think that it had actually rained. They were afraid of how she would react to the bone-dry ceremony site. Well, we didn’t soak the courtyard. The bride was disappointed, but she kept it in perspective. She took photos in the courtyard and all was well.

Another time, my bride insisted that the wedding take place outside, in spite of the fact that it had been raining all day. It stopped for a while and the sun came out (which, if you know anything about Florida, you would know that the sun turned all that rain on the ground into a steam bath), and she insisted we stay outside. The guests were not happy. It was unbearably hot, and we were surrounded on all sides by storm clouds. The bride made it down the aisle to the alter and the sky opened up. It rained like someone was dousing the ceremony site with buckets of water. Guests were running, and decorations were blowing away. It was terrible.

It was from that time on that I started preparing my brides from the moment that they choose an outdoor location, that they may have to relocate inside. I always tell them that I will do everything in my power to keep them with plan A, but must have a good back up plan B as well.

When we choose our ceremony decor, we choose it with the backup location in mind. When we make a photography list, we do it with the back up location in mind. Every step of the planning process keeps plan B in mind. It helps when the wedding day rolls around so that the bride is not as disappointed. Usually the bride is quite cooperative when I come to tell her that we have to move inside, because she has a vision of what it will look like already — plus I keep my ceremony doused with buckets of water in my back pocket at all times.

Fortunately, for my beautiful bride Courtney at the Mansion this past weekend, the courtyard was covered by a tent, and the staff was so helpful that they offered to cover the guests with umbrellas for the short leap between the lobby and the tent. We were all prepared for the rain. And guess what? In spite of the horrible clouds, it didn’t rain!

It’s the morning of another event Saturday. Early this morning I received a text from my client asking how much she should tip the caterer.

This is a very common question… who should I tip and how much? This is a very subjective question. I know how hard wedding vendors work to ensure a smooth and happy wedding day. I always suggest tipping, particularly if you feel that you received extraordinary service.

Who should you tip? Potentially everyone — Catering managers, servers, banquet captains, bartenders, the bellmen, photographers, videographers, floral designers, wedding planners, entertainers, everyone who works on the event.

How much? That is largely dictated by budget. Even a small tip is appreciated. It shows that you recognize a job well done and an extraordinary effort. I have seen tips of $20.00 to more than $1000.00.

My feeling is that the most important part of the tip is the thank you note. Take time to write a little note to each vendor you know personally to thank them for a job well done.

I’m going to share one of my little secrets with you… I like to give out tips prior to the wedding taking place. Before the reception begins, usually during setup, I take my clients’ tips and thank you notes and hand them out to each vendor privately and tell the vendor that this is a gift from the family in anticipation of a beautiful wedding day. I find that this makes the vendors even more eager to please. I have never had an instance where the family regretted the tip later. If you don’t have a wedding planner to do this, give the job to the best man. Traditionally, it was his duty to hand out gratuities.

So, when it comes to your wedding vendors, think generously… Not just with money, but with praise and thanks. It will go along way to making a spectacular wedding celebration.