Wedding Planning Blog

It’s the morning of another event Saturday. Early this morning I received a text from my client asking how much she should tip the caterer.

This is a very common question… who should I tip and how much? This is a very subjective question. I know how hard wedding vendors work to ensure a smooth and happy wedding day. I always suggest tipping, particularly if you feel that you received extraordinary service.

Who should you tip? Potentially everyone — Catering managers, servers, banquet captains, bartenders, the bellmen, photographers, videographers, floral designers, wedding planners, entertainers, everyone who works on the event.

How much? That is largely dictated by budget. Even a small tip is appreciated. It shows that you recognize a job well done and an extraordinary effort. I have seen tips of $20.00 to more than $1000.00.

My feeling is that the most important part of the tip is the thank you note. Take time to write a little note to each vendor you know personally to thank them for a job well done.

I’m going to share one of my little secrets with you… I like to give out tips prior to the wedding taking place. Before the reception begins, usually during setup, I take my clients’ tips and thank you notes and hand them out to each vendor privately and tell the vendor that this is a gift from the family in anticipation of a beautiful wedding day. I find that this makes the vendors even more eager to please. I have never had an instance where the family regretted the tip later. If you don’t have a wedding planner to do this, give the job to the best man. Traditionally, it was his duty to hand out gratuities.

So, when it comes to your wedding vendors, think generously… Not just with money, but with praise and thanks. It will go along way to making a spectacular wedding celebration.

Happy Earth Day!

The most appropriate post today would be tips on how to plan a green wedding. It is a trend that is picking up steam. Planning an entirely green wedding is still quite a challenge, but everyone can incorporate some eco-friendly aspects on the big day.

1. Don’t print out all of your correspondence. I encourage keeping every email so that you have an ongoing record of your wedding plans, but it isn’t necessary to print each and every note. I keep most of my notes in my computer. I have recently started using software called Microsoft One Note. It keeps me organized just like a looseleaf binder with tabs, but I don’t have to print everything out. Think about the trees you will save, not to mention the ink that you won’t use. Another great side affect, no heavy binder to carry around!

2. Send an electronic save-the-date rather than an paper one. Once again, you will save on paper and toxic ink AND you will save money on postage.

3. Serve filtered tap water on the bar. In 2003, approximately 40 million plastic water bottles were thrown in the trash. Since Americans are consuming bottle water at a rapidly growing rate, I cannot imagine what we are throwing out today. Give our landfills a break, ask your reception site to put filtered tap water in pretty pitchers on the bar rather than using plastic bottles.

4. Hire an eco-friendly photographer. Here in Orlando, John Unrue, is leading the path to “greener” weddings. Check out his site at www.ecogreenphotography.com/. He started by doing online proofing and now has pod crunches and other paperless options.

5. Buy local. Transportation emissions have a huge impact on the environment. By using locally grown food and flowers, you can avoid pollution that comes from transporting items cross-country.

6. Encourage guests who travel to purchase carbon credits. You and your guests can go to a website like www.terrapass.com/ to calculate how much your car or plane travel impacts the environment. The website will then calculate a dollar amount which can be donated to environmentally-friendly causes. The site can even help you calculate your wedding’s carbon footprint. Go to www.terrapass.com/wedding/weddingcalc.php

7. Give away eco-friendly favors to your guests. Donate to a charity on their behalf, or plant trees in honor of the wedding. If you want something more tangible, give away saplings or seeds for your guests to plant at home.

8. Rather than printing menu cards or signs, use digital photo frames to get your message across.

9. Weddings have a lot of waste. Check and see if your florist, caterer or reception site has a composting program, or see if you may donate leftover flowers and food to nursing homes, hospitals or food banks.

10. Plan carefully. It will save you money and reduce waste if you are accurate on your guest counts. With a plated meal, you will have exactly the amount of food you need (so you won’t overpay) and with an accurate table count, you won’t have extra floral waste.

Going green doesn’t have to be difficult. In some ways, it may save you some money. A grand celebration like a wedding is a wonderful opportunity to show your family and friends your commitment to the environment. You may even create a few new beleivers!

Today I took over a client from one of the other planners in my company. This unfortunately happens from time-to-time when there is turnover.

Turnover is a frequent occurrence in the event industry; people get promoted or change companies. Unfortunately, this particular bride has had to deal with being passed from one person to another a few times during her planning process. My staff went through two changes and her catering manager also changed jobs and she was given to another manager there.

When I spoke with her mom today, she wasn’t very happy. She was worried that everything she and her daughter had planned was being diluted by being passed among so many people. I assured her that I had everyone’s notes and that all would be just fine. She was further comforted by the fact that as the owner of the company, I wasn’t going anywhere!

Change most certainly happens during the wedding planning process. How are you to survive and not go insane (or worse, turn into Bridezilla)? Here are some tips:

1. Keep good notes. This is why I LOVE email. My planners keep all the correspondence they have between the vendors and the bride so that if something were to happen, someone else could easily step in and take over.

2. Keep in constant contact with your vendors. If something changes at the company, you will be among the first to know. This doesn’t mean call every week, but send an email every once and a while letting them know how your planning is coming along. Your pleasant email will keep you at the top of your vendors’ minds.

3. Express your frustration (if you have any) with the change, then let it go. This presumes that the company with whom you are working has hired a competent replacement for the person who left. If you aren’t happy with the replacement, talk with her first. Let her know your concerns. If your concerns are still not addressed, calmly speak to her superior. Make sure you can specifically address how your needs aren’t being met.

4. Set up a face-to-face meeting with the replacement. This is an excellent time to get to know her and to make sure she has all the details that her predecessor had.

Change is really difficult, especially with something as detailed and emotional as planning a wedding. I know that my clients get very attached to me. (The reverse is true as well.) Just understand that people move on in every business. If your vendors are professional, they will help you through the change.

Planning a wedding is no easy task. The months leading up to your big day are going to be filled with excitement, emotions and big spending. The best way to make sure you don’t start your new marriage horribly in debt is to determine what you can spend and how you are going to spend it. Below are my top five secrets that will help you create a meaningful budget and stick to it.

1. Create an accurate guest list. Your biggest expenses, like your food and beverage bill, linens and centerpieces will be greatly influenced by your guest count. That makes the guest list the single most important variable in your budget. Whether you do it by spreadsheet or index cards, before you do anything else, decide how many people you will invite and how many will actually attend.

2. Determine what is most important to you. Typically I find that the food and beverage bill accounts for nearly half of a wedding’s overall budget. So, if you are going to spend $30,000 on your overall wedding, figure $15,000 of that will go to feeding your guests. That leaves you with only $15,000 to spend on everything else. You will be surprised how fast that money goes. You must determine the items that are most important to you. Do you want an extraordinary gown? You may have to cut back on the flowers. Do you want a 10-piece band? You may have to cut back on the photographer.

3. Don’t forget extra fees. In Orlando, most hotels and restaurants charge a 22 percent service fee and then tax on top of this. On a $10,000 food and beverage bill, that adds almost $3,000.00 in fees. You can also expect chef attendant fees if you do action stations. Some locations also charge cake cutting fees if you don’t purchase the cake from them. These fees can really add up. Don’t forget to plan for them.

4. Once you know what you can spend on each service, share that with the vendors you meet. Hopefully all the wedding professionals that you interview are, well, professional. If they are, they won’t hesitate to help you figure out how to get the most for your dollar. If you have $800.00 to spend on a wedding gown, tell the salon that’s all you have to spend. They will show you beautiful gowns that you can afford rather than tempting you with something out of range.

5. Set up a wedding bank account or debit card. This will keep you from digging into your savings or going into credit card debt. Also, if you have people helping you pay for your wedding, you can have them contribute directly to the account. This will help you avoid the pain of calling that person every five minutes when you need financial help. It also will make that person less likely to give you unsolicited advice with every decision you make.

Following these five easy tips will make shopping for your wedding a much more pleasant experience AND you won’t return from your honeymoon with a big case of shopper’s remorse. More great tips for planning the wedding of your dreams can be found are on my new dvd, Susan Southerland’s Just Marry! Wedding Planning Secrets, available on justmarry.com or amazon.com. All those who purchase a DVD receive free access to all my favorite forms.

I love my job! Each and every day I am grateful for my clients and my associates. My career has taken me around the country and around the world. I have met hundreds, maybe thousands of wedding professionals — some very famous that you would recognize and others who just humbly run their small business every day. From photographers and videographers to catering managers and other wedding planners, they are wonderful people who dedicate their careers to create a beautiful, memorable day for couples and their families.

I remember one incident very fondly that happened several years ago. I was at an Association of Bridal Consultants convention in San Diego. Colin Cowie was our keynote speaker. He was open and warm and shared many of his tips and secrets to his success. Some of those tips I put into my day to day business routine, others were so meaningful to me that they wove themselves into my business philosophy. He also spent quite a bit of time chatting with us “up and comers,” never rolling an eye or acting impatient. He mentioned again and again how important his team was. That no wedding day succeeded on the shoulders of one vendor. I was amazed that someone with such a high profile had such a team philosophy. I have never forgotten that.

I found that philosophy to be prevalent among the other famous wedding planners whom I have met; Preston Bailey, Mindy Weiss, David Tutera, Sasha Souza, Marci Bloom — none of whom acted as self-anointed Gods of the wedding industry. All gave credit to their team and their vendors.

It is that type of mentality that you should look for when seeking a wedding vendor. Those planners, photographers, videographers, etc. who are truly great, know they can’t do it alone. We can only succeed as one group working to make your wedding day amazing.

So my advice for today, if you are shopping for a vendor and you hear a great deal of “me, me, me,” run for the door. There are many brilliant, talented wedding professionals who have carved out an entire career focused on “you, you, you.” Seek them out. You will be delighted with the result.

YES, YES, YES!

I have to tell you. I am planning destination weddings for two clients, one in Italy and one in the Bahamas. It is a very different experience from planning one locally. It is much more time consuming. I plan weddings all day long. I can’t imagine fitting in all the details if I were working a full time job AND planning my wedding.

Here is what we need to do to get the marriage license in Italy:

Get copies of birth certificates with an Apostille.
Have the documents translated into Italian.
Go to an Italian Embassy and swear in person that you are eligible for marriage.
Go to the region where the wedding takes place to get an Atto Notorio.

Then, weddings in Italy can only take place in the town hall. So we have to have the official wedding in the morning in the town hall and a symbolic wedding at their desired location in the afternoon.

The most interesting part of this wedding is that we had to get permission from the mayor of the town to get married in July since they typically do not do weddings in July or August. Pheww!

I always learn something new!

In the end, my bride and groom are going to get the wedding they always dreamed about… but it is a lot of work. If you have dreams of getting married in Europe, or some exotic locale, make sure you know what you are getting into… Most importantly, hire a good, patient and determined wedding planner!

Hi All,

I am very, very excited. After working for a year, my new wedding planning DVD is finally here and available to you! Susan Southerland’s Wedding Planning Secrets has my most sought-after advice in one DVD.

I share my secrets for choosing colors, creating a reasonable budget, dealing with vendors and organizing the day. Check out the website for more information.

I will be at the Perfect Wedding Guide wedding show on Sunday at the Buena Vista Palace. If you are in Orlando, come see me. I am looking forward to discussing your wedding plans with you and on my table, is my Ten Inspirational Ideas for an Out of the Ordinary Wedding idea list, to assist you in planning a memorable wedding!

I hope to see you there!

Its wedding show season once again. For those of you who have never been to one, it is quite an experience! Hundreds of brides running around, dozens and dozens of vendors vying for your business. It can be very overwhelming. Here are some tips to surviving a wedding show.

1. Wear comfortable shoes. This is no time to show off your exquisite stiletto heals. Bridal shows are big and you will be walking around for hours. You won’t be able to enjoy yourself if your feet are killing you.

2. Make a plan. You will not have enough time to have in-depth conversations with every vendor you meet. Think about what you want to accomplish at the show. Do you want to find a photographer and videographer or are you shopping for a florist? Plan on spending the most time with the vendors you need to hire. Gather business cards from other vendors that you like and plan on meeting them later.

3. Bring address labels. You are going to be asked to fill out dozens of entry and information forms. You will waste a lot of time (and get a nasty cramp in your hand) if you have to fill out each form by hand.

4. Don’t be afraid to say, “no thank you.” The vendors at the show are all there to sell you something. Once again, if you stand by and listen to every sales pitch, you wont get to meet with the vendors you really like. The vendors know they aren’t going to appeal to everyone, just politely say that you are not interested and walk away.

5. Don’t bring all of your girlfriends with you. Take your mom, your best friend, or another bride to keep you company and have fun with you, but too many opinions will get you stressed out.

6. If you have purchased your gown, skip the fashion show. The booths tend to be less busy while the fashion show is going on. All those vendors who were chasing after ten brides at once will find themselves twiddling their thumbs. This is the perfect opportunity to have a relaxed chat with one or two of them.

7. Make a note on the literature you take. You will leave the show with a bag full of business cards, brochures and magazines. If you meet someone who has an interesting product or service, be sure to mark on the brochure what struck your fancy; otherwise that vendor will just get lost in a flurry of paper.

8. Create a wedding email address. Keep in mind that after signing up with all those vendors, you will be inundated with email and snail mail advertisements. Rather than giving them your personal email address, or even worse, your work address, create an email address that you use exclusively at bridal shows. That way, you will be able to sort through wedding email at your leisure rather than having to clear things out just to find an email from your aunt.

I hope these tips will help you enjoy all the upcoming bridal shows. Keep your wits and senses of humor! Happy shopping.

I socialize with a lot of vendors in the wedding industry. It is fun to be with people who can identify with the challenges and excitement of working with couples on the most significant party of their lives to date. We all get a chuckle over the funny stories… the drunken toasts, the crazy late night dancing.

When we chat about serious business, we often turn to who our best wedding clients are. Who are the couples we enjoy working with the most? Who are the clients who we love to give 120%. I think you might be surprised on what wedding vendors think. Here are ten tips to being the wedding client ever. I promise if you follow even a few of these, you will have your vendors bending over backwards to exceed your expectations on your wedding day.

1. Be honest with your vendors. We love to please our clients. We know that not every single one of them can afford an over-the-top wedding. We love working with all kinds of couples. Most vendors have various levels of service. One is apt to fit within your spending parameters. If you go into your initial meeting with a clear idea of what you can spend, the professional vendor will give you recommendations on how to get the most for your money… even if it means referring you to a trusted colleague.

2. If you interview multiple vendors in a certain category, for example three photographers, once you hire one, let the other ones know that you made a decision to go with someone else. Most wedding vendors have small businesses. If they continue to hold a date for you, they will not have the opportunity to book another wedding client. Allowing a vendor to release your date is just a courteous thing to do. Most of us know and like each other. We will just be happy that you have hired a quality vendor who fits your style.

3. Respect the vendors’ professionalism. You do not have to take every bit of advice that a vendor gives you, but if you allow him to do his job without micromanaging him, you will get a superior product. If your florist advises you that something you chose will not be good on the wedding day, you may certainly ask questions to understand the situation, but take his advice. Remember he has done hundreds and hundreds of weddings. You chose him because you like his work, trust him to give you a product you will love!

4. Keep your vendors informed. You do not need to give him a weekly phone call or a bi-weekly email, but if you make changes to the wedding day, give your vendors plenty of notice. This is particularly important for start times and end times. It is also a good idea to let all your vendors know who you hire. Chances are they have worked together. If there are any issues that they need to be worked out such as space or timing, they will be able to work through it before the wedding day. That will make things run more smoothly.

5. Remember your vendors are human beings. If they are working with you for eight or ten hours on the wedding day, provide them with something to eat. This goes a long way to getting extraordinary service. I am not suggesting that you have to feed them the $100.00 dinner your guests are getting (some clients do). Arrange a room close to where your reception is and provide the vendors with a simple meal and non-alcoholic beverages. It will give them a chance to take a quick break and get refreshed.

6. Make payments on time. Your contract will outline when payments are due. Keep in mind again that wedding businesses are typically small businesses. Cash flow can sometimes be tight. Vendors don’t like asking for money. It is such a pleasant surprise to receive timely payment in the mail without asking.

7. Say thank you. All wedding vendors agree that we love to receive tips or gifts, but even just a simple thank you note lets us know that you really appreciate all the effort we put into your big day. Working in weddings is a truly stressful job. We have one shot to make the most important day of your life perfect. A little recognition pushes us forward to continue doing wonderful work.

8. Write thank you letters to the boss. This is something that is even rarer than the traditional thank you note. If you work with a vendor who gives you extraordinary work, letting his boss know is perfect compensation. Some vendors get raises, bonuses and even promotions based on letters like those.

9. Keep lines of communication open. If you are concerned or unhappy about something during the planning process, don’t save it up and get angry about it. Let the vendor know. It is much better to change something during the months prior to the wedding rather than on the very stressful wedding day itself. It is better to address unsatisfactory situations with a cool head rather than when everyone is anxious.

10. Send referrals. The best way to reward a good wedding vendor is to send your family and friends. Word of mouth is the life-blood of any wedding business.

Following some of the tips above can actually benefit you GREATLY. People take care of people who care for them back. Being a great wedding client truly can make a difference.

If you have any comments on tips to working well with wedding vendors, I would love to hear them. Send me a note or post a comment.

I am often asked the best way to keep communication with wedding vendors. Sometimes it seems that we sign the contract and then for months at a time there is no communication. While most wedding vendors agree they do not need a weekly phone call from the couple, they do like to have updates when things change for the wedding.

I have heard wedding vendors tell me that sometimes the week prior to the wedding rolls around and then all of a sudden the bride will call and tell them that the wedding has been moved two hours earlier. Sometimes the vendors find out because they happen to speak to one of the other vendors working at the wedding.

If you want to avoid major stress on your wedding day, be sure to update your vendors as your wedding plans become more concrete. You may want to create a wedding day agenda to send out to everyone the week prior to your wedding as well. It is certainly in your best interest to keep everyone informed.