Over the weekend I had the opportunity to watch one of my favorite movies (and its sequel) “Father of the Bride” and “Father of the Bride II“. AND it was Mother’s Day Weekend (because Mother’s Day is so much more than just a mere day!!) Don’t you love those happy movie classics? They both brought freshly to mind the MOTHER of the bride (and fairly, the groom), not just daddy dearest.
The lines have become getting a little blurry about the traditional roles of both, and in 2020 as all things weddings becoming so different, this blurring will become even bigger. But I digress!
Perhaps you have nothing in common with “Nina” in FOB or Diane Keaton for that matter, but Ms. Nina Banks has a couple of lessons that are still relevant for the Mother of the Bride/Groom TODAY.
The bride herself will more than likely wear a dress that, while beautiful, will be a time capsule in itself. Photos reviewed by future generations will no doubt say “eeeeeek, look at that dress, the hair, what makeup”, etc. But YOU mama of the bride, YOU should transcend it all, rise above and be— well, be Nina Banks!
Nina’s wedding attire STILL LOOKS FABULOUS! Watch the movie yourself and tell me if I’m not correct! She wore (above, next to the bride that looks every bit like 1991) a gorgeous suit, not too-too but not “not enough”. Beautiful!
Some tips for every mother of the bride/groom who wants to be All That on the wedding day AND beyond:
- Remember that while this day is all about the bride and groom, it is YOUR day too. No need to be crazy about it and wear a white dress and demand to be the center of attention—- Please! But it is your day as well, you ARE the mother of the bride after all!
- Start EARLY planning what you will wear, down to the smallest detail! Don’t be an obsessive crazypants about it but start the process as early as possible. Hit every purveyor of fine apparel you can. Be there not just once but often.
- Try on a LOT of options. Find out what silhouette looks great on you. Play up your best attribute. The best dressed mother of the bride wears her best look giving a nod to the wedding itself. That’s to say that if the wedding is in the early afternoon in a small chapel with a small reception— wearing a long gown with beading might be over the top.
- Make friends with at least one associate at every fabulous store you go to try on clothes. They are a great resource and can not only help you try on that first round of dresses but they can keep you in mind when something new comes in, goes on sale, or you might need a special order. A professional sales associate will proffer better advice and be far more honest than your best friend or even the bride herself.
- Go classic. I can’t say this enough. Think Nina Banks. Classic suit, classic color, classic jewelry and accessories, classic hair, classic pumps. You can bet her undergarments were classic as well. All to the good I say! A note here says classic is not dull, boring, invisible or meek.
- When you’ve decided on your look, take care of all the details. (AGAIN, early on). Try different hairstyles or makeup if you need to. Choose your shoes, your jewelry, every detail. Your trusted ally in the dress shop will be very helpful in advising what will look good.
- Try everything on together—- in advance.
- Remember, the idea is to look fantastic, put together, gorgeous and wise!
- Classic is not frumpy-dumpy! There are a LOT of dresses out there that can be defined as classic. They are tired old garments that are drug out every season in every year with new color, slightly new fabrics, maybe a new pearl or two. They’re blah—- run away. The best style is classic with an edge that says you’re stylish, you know the deal, you are fabulous. If you are one of those mother of the brides who has a less developed sense of style or who is nervous about the whole thing don’t give in to your fears by ignoring the whole thing until it is too late in the game!
- Buy the best you can! You might spend a little more than you like. It happens. And I know the wedding costs, the everything costs, the details have your budget on the ropes. I don’t care. You are the mother of the bride. Don’t pinch a penny on yourself, although that is the mother thing to do—DON’T! You deserve it, and you are going to have a hard time looking great on a lil’ ole’ shoestring. It can be done but please don’t limit yourself if you can help it. A little more spent will pay enormous dividends and you will be so very glad you did!
- Embrace your inner diva! It can be a fine line between magnificent diva and shrew—–walk it carefully!!! Trust that your family will likely let you know if you have taken a step toward the dark side.
Mother of the Bride & Groom—— this is a wonderful time for you! You’ll look great and you’ll have a wonderful time. We’re here for you!
Some current 2020 Nina Banks-esque looks:
Back when Nina Banks was the mother of the bride, the choices to avoid looking dated or matronly were hard to navigate. Today’s Mother of the bride/groom have a lot of great choices in every price point.
We can’t wait to see you shine Mom!
In Honor of Mom- The Mother of the Bride & Groom