Tips for Compromising on Your Wedding Decisions


Getting engaged is such an exciting time. However, the exhilaration of saying “I will” can quickly be replaced by the overwhelming concerns surrounding planning a wedding.

I designed my Smart Start series to take the worry out of planning your wedding. Smart Start will be delivered to your inbox every week filled with tips on the business and the art sides of planning a wedding. It will break up your tasks into easy-to-accomplish segments so you can enjoy the planning process.

If you have questions or ideas, please don’t hesitate to email me at You may also find back issues of the Smart Start series by clicking HERE.

Real Wedding in Boca Raton

Today is National Thread the Needle Day, an interesting national day to be sure! If you’re unfamiliar with the phrase “thread the needle,” it’s defined by as “finding harmony or striking a balance between conflicting forces or interests.” This seemed like the perfect time to discuss the very real possibility that you and your future spouse may not see eye to eye on all of your wedding planning decisions…and what you can do about that.

First, remember that you’re planning the most special day of your lives. It’s an important day but hardly worth causing serious friction in your relationship. Focus on the big picture and celebrating your coming marriage, not on the small details for the wedding that will likely be forgotten down the road.

Second, I suggest that you go into your wedding planning with an open mind rather than set opinions. Yes, you may have been planning this day for years, but your wedding isn’t only about you. It’s about you and your future spouse. If nothing else, you must do your best to respect your future spouse’s wishes. That’s the best path to harmony in your relationship!

In addition to these suggestions, here are a few other tips on how to compromise on your wedding decisions:

    1. Budget. The actual budget for the wedding should be fairly concrete. You each know what you can afford and what your families are contributing. Where you might need to compromise is on how that budget is spent. Sit down together at the beginning of your planning and prioritize your wedding services according to what is most important to each of you. Then stick to it.
    2. The Guest List. Try to keep the guest list as even as possible. If you have a large family and your future spouse doesn’t, there’s bound to be a disparity. However, you can possibly encourage your future spouse to invite more friends than you to make it more even. Just don’t allow the list to get more excessive than your budget allows!
    3. Choosing vendors. If the two of you have trouble deciding which vendor to hire for each wedding service, consider allowing a neutral third party to help make the decision for you. Your wedding planner would be a good option, or perhaps a mutual friend.
    4. Wardrobe. Most people don’t want to be told how to dress. Do you? If your future spouse wants to choose their own wardrobe, let them. Just set a few parameters to make sure their choice is in line with the wedding’s theme and colors.
    5. Food. This is possibly the easiest compromise to make since most weddings offer more than one food offering. Simply serve at least one dish you each enjoy.

Planning your wedding is supposed to be a happy time and truly isn’t worth putting stress on your relationship. If something upsets you, ask yourself if it will matter in ten years. If not, let it go!

If you have any questions about this or other wedding planning topics, reach out to me in the comments.

Photo Credit: Candice Adelle Photography (see more from this wedding album)

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