Planning your Same Sex Wedding

A Head Over Heels Blog Series by Josey Stafford

First things first, and per the advice of Jove Meyer, your same sex wedding technically is just a wedding. Because we don’t say ‘How to plan your heterosexual wedding’. We just don’t. So before we harp on your wedding being a ‘unicorn’ wedding, I just want to emphasize that you and your fiancé opting to exchange vows and rings in front of family and friends is called a wedding, regardless of the specifics of your sexual life.

All that being said it might be nice to hear from two grooms who recently wedded, like how they went about planning their wedding and what their journey looked like.

grooms portraits

Meet your grooms, Ben and David. For them the first step was looking for a venue, “we didn’t want to wait forever and we knew that venues book up fast.” Truth. If you want a particular wedding venue, for the date that you want, you need to move quickly.

Take it from a girl who booked her wedding venue before she was engaged #wackyweddingplanner. Since Ben had a preference of getting married in a historic venue and David wanted a more intimate wedding, the pool of wedding venues was easily narrowed. They used the internet to pin down a few venues and then toured just the ones that seemed like they would work.

“Things that turned us off: venues that were too big, or too segmented or open to the public.” After each open house or venue walkthrough, Ben and David updated their Excel spreadsheet. Staying organized was something that really made wedding planning less stressful for Ben and David.

wedding planning chaos

Because of Ben’s background as an Interior Designer, he naturally took the creative reins and drove the decision making process during the wedding planning stage. David confesses that this was a really big benefit and a large contributor to how beautiful their wedding turned out.

Another thing that they could not have done without? A day of coordinator.

Our day would not have gone as well or as smoothly as it had, if we hadn’t had the help that we did.

We felt the coordinators were incredibly knowledgeable, they guided us through the process – Becca, at the venue, was amazing and ran the day of our wedding, alongside of our friend who was our day of coordinator.

They were the best duo.

lilies pedestal arrangementfirst kiss grooms proclamationbetter together table number with white orchids in vase and floating candles

It’s really weird because we don’t believe in perfect but our day was perfect – David

Ben and David’s day was perfect on purpose, they used these 6 strategies to make everything come together for their wedding.

  1. Pinterest
  2. Be decisive! It’s frustrating for your partner to flip flop.
  3. Pick a primary color. For Ben and David it happened to be the flur de lee napkin and it set the tone for the rest of the day.
  4. Make mindful selections. “We had to be careful because for a moment we felt that our wedding was getting more formal than what we intended. We wanted it to be something in between elegant and classy and fun, so that our guests wouldn’t feel uncomfortable, but it would still represent our relationship.”, says Ben.
  5. Ask for input from friends. David says, “We asked those that know us best, how would you describe us?” Most replied with Classic and Traditional. Their feedback really guided us on where we went with the wedding design.”
  6. Have assigned seats in the first two rows for family and then the rest could be open seating. I completely agree with this one, David was surprised that family didn’t take the initiative. Unfortunately certain things wedding guests will just feel timid about.

live music

Do you want a wedding like Ben and David’s? Checkout their vendors:

Venue // Saint Paul College Club
Photographer // Studio Laguna
Officiant // Reverend Pat Williamson
Cake // Queen of Cakes
Decor // Festivities
Florist // Soderberg’s
Invites // Litin Party Supply
Liquor // Thomas Liquor
Music // Rachel Holder Hennig  & Ovation String Quartet
Photobooth Guestbook // Studio Veil

Prosperity, Love & Happiness,
Sixpence Events & Planning